My childhood was abusive… I took several terms in speech therapy after returning fr northern Minnesota. I have a schizophrenic uncle, a bipolar aunt. I tested almost perfectly in written tests, and worried constantly that I’d end up like others in my family who were gifted…bone became schizophrenic, another developed brain tumors. I detached mostly from my family but learned to focus exclusively on real and simple things to defend against my visions… This turned to manias. I’ve done amazing things with my life, tho losing clients due to judgments. I lost some jobs by refusing exorcism. I have been an exceptional technician on civil and field land surveyor and computer systems analyst. I’ve been through losses from manic episodes, and by self-medication. Hi I’ve done so many excellent things,.on the other and have become a senior design consultant; have an have taken in the argument for complex situations.
I have taken the most complex Jobs. In contrast, I’ve had the most amazing engineers training me, have known and worked for the best surveyors, engineers and architects… Have loved and learned from exceptional women, and have trained and loved some wonderful pets, and now live near the southern Oregon coast, only a few years after diagnosis.
I am honored to have all the advantages that I’ve been given, and the friends I’ve made along the way. I drink the moon, chat with frogs, commune with deer. The VA doesn’t want me working anymore, but allows any and all charitable work I can find.
On another front, I moved to another city and found occasional work, then found I was to be hired, but lost my couch to sleep the next month to be gone, and moved back to my mother’s family where I helped with cooking and yardwork, preparing for the sale thereof. After her death, I moved back to the city, but when I got there, I found my papers expired, I couldn’t find work, and moved to a forested area, trading security for food and water, occasionally self-medicating to stave off hunger-pangs, once a month or so, I could go to an old friends to have a good meal and shower, shave and haircut, then back to my camp. Eventually, I got food assistance, then papers, went to find work and was given some hard, difficult or dangerous labor for a day or two sometimes. At one point I went manic again, and when a lady and I became friends and I’d receive a ride to check for mail. Eventually I became delusional and believed she was with FBI or apparat… When I told my friends, they kicked me out of the forest and I moved to an area between highways. Eventually, I got into a shelter, got help from the VA, and moved into a room. I began helping my ex, still looking for day labor jobs, then got diagnosis, went to hospital several times, and got further diagnosis… The VA gave me 100% disability and I moved to a room at a friend’s place, then the house got sold, so I came to a forest near the ocean and quit self medication. I found a place where I could live that my fiduciaries would allow, and had a home again.
On a side note, when the city found out there were about 4500 homeless there, they installed 3 public commodes, while there were completely unused tenements and parking garages that could be taped off and rented to campers at 5-7/week to pay for pumping the sewage and cleaning common areas.
Then the stores, even minimarts started refusing to allow refill of water-bottles (in a city with unmetered water).
Yes there are junkies everywhere, but a large percentage are families kicked out when the housing bubble broke, who, being unable to clean and clothe themselves, lost their jobs, mired further and further.
Oh, and my greatest blessing back when “the sisters of mercy” (see l. Cohen lyrics) have covered me when freezing, jacketed me when drenched, fed me when hungry, and spoke gently with me when I needed validation, and I am forever indebted to them.
Homeless Bipolar Man