It has almost been a year since our world that we knew turned upside down. Everything changed…. EVERYTHING. I think of time as “before” and “after.” Our lives were in such turmoil after that night. I could explain it like there was a hurricane all around me, and all I could think is I have to be strong. Not too long after that, our two puppers got away from me while we were walking. I wasn’t on social media at that time, I had deleted it because it was too painful. Long story short, we never found our puppers and it was just another painful sprinkle on top of my traumatic sundae. I finally was able to digest that we may never see them again.
In one of my past therapy sessions, my amazingly awesome therapist asked me if there was an animal that I could picture making me laugh or feel calm when I was upset. (I know this sounds silly, but we were working on imagery to calm myself when I feel my self spiraling down my anxiety black hole) The only thing I could think of was my sweet Hazel and how she would always make me laugh when I felt like crying (even though sometimes I cried too). She mentioned to me that one day when I was ready and when our family was ready it may be a good idea to explore getting another dog. It was something I wasn’t sure I was ready for….honestly.
I did start exploring rescue sites and looking at doggies, still not really sure if we (I) was ready emotionally to take on another pup. Then these puppies came up on my feed that were being given away by someone I (semi) knew. Pit (which is my favorite doggy breed, because they rock) mixes! We went to look at them and the girls were super excited. I talked to Scot and he was not. 🙂 Well, after some conversations and debates we decided to go for it! I am writing all of this to introduce Mr. Tucker (aka Tuck) Little. We are in love. ❤
**I have been told that I share too much, that I should just keep my thoughts and experiences to myself. I have been told that “we don’t talk about these things,” and I’ve decided that I don’t feel that way at all. So here is the start to my sharing things that “we shouldn’t talk about.” I will warn you that I am not a writer, I didn’t even major in anything related to English. This is about sharing my story. This is about hopefully helping someone talk about theirs too. This is about healing wounds. This is about processing shame, guilt, and my broken heart. I am excited to put my thoughts into words and I am excited to share them…. even if “we don’t talk about these things.”